nights like i this i wish i was coked up

i wish i were back in philly, where shit didnt bother when i didnt care about nothing. i would of been sitting on my front porch just staring into the fucking stars, probably high off something. im really pissed right now its 2 in the fucking morning im stressed out wishing i was somewhere else free from everyone else. people fucking get on my last nerve, girls fucking annoy me !! being in a relationship takes alot of muthafucking work & 'positive' thinking. i wish i could just give up ya know? i mean i would of weeks ago im always giving up anyway. but uh i decided to write tonight because if i dont let a bit out im gonna explode, i dont wanna turn back to my old habits, they wont help, it will only set me a step back, nope i refuse. so right now at 2 am im gonna put on a hoodie some jeans & shoes & walk out that door & hope to come back alive. i need air.